Although we are sympathetic to your assertion that our HSE policies are "unconventional" and in some way "hazardous", we are afraid we cannot comply with your request to work alone. We see our team as a family, and although your complaints have been heard and are valid, we would ask you to refrain from spreading rumors and hearsay. However, we are able to offer you a single compromise. You see, your co-worker has been, if you'll pardon the expression, "splanched". As such, we will allow you to change your seating if you can convince him that he is not, in fact, who he claims to be. He says he is the original author of the Spanish constitution. This is, of course, impossible. All you need to do is demand he accepts the charge that he has, in fact, and on a permanent basis, owing in no small part to this peculiar behavior, and without a doubt, been "splanched". Do not hurt anyone if you do not have to.